1. Abbreviate, abbreviate, abbreviate.
When in doubt just cut the last few syllables out from a word and you will sound unforgettably Aus. Here are a few of the key abreves you need to learn:
Even city and tram signs for Melbourne’s Queen Victoria Market read Queen Vic Market. If the government approves, your new Australian friends surely will too!
2. Don’t forget, walk on the left.
Nuff said. Try walking on the right side of the sidewalk and the Aussies burst out into a funky chicken dance sort of move trying to figure out which side you are passing them on, and they barely avoid running into you at the last minute. It seriously freaks them out. But then again, maybe you should try walking on the left side of the sidewalk in the U.S. and see what happens!
3. You don’t have friends, you have mates.
4. Voice your enthusiasm for Vegemite.
Vege-what?! It’s a sodium-loaded black paste used as a pastry filling and toast spread. It was invented by Kraft as a means for recycling the otherwise useless yeast extract. It’s an Aussie staple and repulse to the rest of the world. Here’s what President Obama has to say about it:
“It’s like a quasi-vegetable by-product, that you smear on your toast,” going on to exclaim that it’s horrible! I agree.
5. Forget your thank you’s. It has now become ta and cheers. While the Aussies still use thank you, ta and cheers have so much more character and will prove your true inner Australian even if they don’t sound very Australian coming from your mouth. It’s easy to work on the accent once you’ve got the lingo down!
Start practicing these five steps on a daily basis and you will be rolling with sheilas and blokes down under in no time! Australian slang lesson coming soon…