The burning sun sank into the barren landscape as I rode into my very last Melbourne sunset. Vulkey, my trusty Kawasaki Vulcan S powering me across the stretched deserted roads of Melbourne’s sparse outer north west suburbs. My belongings strapped to my back in a 13 kilo, 55 litre backpack. It was a makeshift method to get to the airport, and I prayed my bulky load wouldn’t topple through each roundabout.

I dropped Vulkey with a friend who agreed to babysit him over the upcoming months and I was off to the airport. A one way skybus ticket in my hand, no home to return to, no housekeys in my pocket. I was committed. And free. And about to embark on what might be the biggest journey of my life.

I feel like I’ve lived a year in the past four months. Turning 30, having hand surgery, and running my own freelance business. Adulting is the best way to describe 2019, as my life went from playful to serious, and evenings once occupied with hours of pole dance training morphed into me glued to my laptop writing proposals, sending emails, and pawning off my earthly possessions on Gumtree.

With a bum hand, I felt lost. Pole training and the active lifestyle that once defined my life was gone. Not only did It fill my time, but it kept me sane. Exercise is my meditation and I was beginning to lose my sense of centeredness. What was meant to be a calculated transition from normal life to vagabond life was more like a surprise plunge into an ice bath. I was running on adrenaline for weeks, relying on a to do list to tell me where to be each waking hour, and which Facebook messages from friends I still needed to reply to.

Now, approaching Melbourne airport, all I could think about were the emails left unsent and the fact that my travel blog took too long to load. Oh, and what the hell was I doing walking away from my perfectly good life.

“You’re so brave,”  a friend told me, but the fact is everyone is brave. We’re just different types of brave, and for me exploring the unknown is a risk that’s palatable. Nothing great is achieved from the comfort zone, so here’s my leap to break from the mundane and an embrace of the chaotic. This is me choosing risk and adventure over routine and predictability. This is my search for meaning, journey for inspiration.

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